Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
