i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
