Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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