Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
