Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
