Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
