I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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