I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
