So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
