At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
