That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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