Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
