how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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