just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
