I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
