Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i think my cat just said my name.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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