There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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