I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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