I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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