The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
