3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
