You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize