Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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