On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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