i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
