he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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