i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
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i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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