You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
