Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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