It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
whose ass print is on the piano?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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