Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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