I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize