New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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