If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
