literally had 100 drinks last night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
