my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize