She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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