Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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