I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
