hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
