bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize