hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
