You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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