so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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