Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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