i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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