It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
