between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
