i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize