It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
