I am in a vortex of obligation.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Olympian is in my bed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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