who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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