I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
