I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
