Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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