I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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