I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
