If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
