Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
