it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize