I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
