U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
