Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I need a beard to bite.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
