I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
