everyone is single if you try hard enough
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
