Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize