question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
