Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
