It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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