remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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